The beginning, year 2004 (part 1)

Taken from my previous blog, written on 25 June 2006


Before I tell you how I discovered I was sick, let me just say why I have decided to blog about it. I realised the usefulness of blogging how I felt and coped with this illness to those who might one way or other be "connected" to it. Thanks to a very special friend who brought my attention to a fellow blogger's website who was in a similar situation as I. Although she didn't pull through, she certainly encouraged me by her fighting spirit and entries. I hope to do the same with mine.

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June holidays could never be the same for me. On the Monday of the third week, two years ago, I went to consult my GP for this nagging pain in the abdomen which never seemed to go away. She arranged for an ultrasound scan at a lab. I did the scan on Thursday, but the radiologist wasn't around at that time. I returned the next day and when I asked her about the scan, all she said was,"Go talk to your doctor. Long-term care is more important now."


Seriously, I had no idea what was going on. It was God's will that my GP was on leave that day. (She never went on leave on a Friday.) "Shuai ge" was very worried about the report. In my mind I thought it was only a cyst or fibroid, nothing as serious as a terminal illness. "Shuai ge" and I went to consult my gynae, who still charged me for an ultrasound scan when I already had the film. She told me things did not look right and it was most probable cancer. She is not an expert in this field, but would be able to get things done faster if I engaged her as my main doctor.


Our world just collapsed upon that. We were still in a daze when we were out from the clinic at Mount Elizabeth. "Shuai ge" was in tears and devastated. My first thought was, "Oh, no. Time to go back to God." We contemplated on my gynae's offer. The strange thing was I didn't cry. I just took it in my stride. It did shock me. My concern was to get myself cured. Fortunately "Shuai ge" called SH who in turn informed KY and KH. The trio rushed down to meet us at Mt E. SH made a few inquiries as to which would be the best avenue for me. Thank God he did. It was later that we learnt the first step in which we took could either make or break us.


SH accompanied us to SGH to seek another gynae, Dr Yu. As we didn't make any prior appointment, it was almost impossible to consult her. Moreover, her earliest possible time slot was a fortnight later as she had a seminar the following week. The admission staff saw our desperation and told us to seek help from the nurse. We approached Dr Yu's nurse and passed her the scan negatives to show Dr Yu, and we were granted an impromptu appointment. It was also not Dr Yu's area of specialisation. However, she referred us to her fellow colleague, Dr Wong. Dr Yu assured us she would continue to follow up in the hospital.


She wanted me to be hospitalised immediately. I told her I wasn't prepared psychologically and would only do so the following day. The admission nurse briefed me on the procedures. We went home heavy hearted. You could imagine the long night we had. I couldn't sleep. We didn't know the severity or the seriousness of the illness yet. I was in acute pain that night and couldn't sleep. I prayed, asking God to be my pillar of strength.


The long battle had merely just began for me.